Practice What You Preach
Every Sunday Ol' Jeb would fall asleep halfway through the sermon, sometimes to the point of snoring. The Preacher decided to have some fun with Jeb, so the following Sunday, he began his sermon as usual. Soon he noticed Jeb was drifting off to sleep, so he began to talk softly. "Now friends," he said to the congregation, "I'm sure that each one of you here is a good Catholic, and wants to go to heaven." The congregation all nodded agreement. The Preacher continued softly, "Well, if there's anyone here that doesn't want to go to heaven, and wants to go to Hell, then..." and the preacher takes a deep breath and shouts, "STAND UP!" Well, Jeb is startled awake with the shouting and instantly jumps to his feet! The Preacher looks over his pulpit at Jeb and asks, "Jeb, are you really sure you want to be standing up?" Jeb looks around and replies, "Well, Preacher, you're the only other one a-standin', but I'm with you all the way!"