For the first time in, oh, a decade, I think, something from Microsoft shipped on time: Rory John Gates, weighed 8 pounds 12 ounces when he was downloaded, er, born on Sunday, May 23, at 2:40 p.m. And what do Baby Gates and Daddy's products have in common?

1. Neither can stand on its own two feet without a LOT of third party support.

2. Both barf all over themselves regularly.

3. Regardless of the problem, calling Microsoft Tech Support won't help.

4. As they mature, we pray that they will be better than that which preceded them.

5. At first release they're relatively compact, but they seem to grow and grow with each passing year.

6. They arrive in shaky condition with inadequate documentation.

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