The Dog Fight:
The Palestinians and Israelis, at the height of their conflict, realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to destroy the whole country.
One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dogfight. They'd have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms.
The Palestinians found the biggest meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. They used steroids, and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it.
When the day came for the dogfight, the Israelis showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for them because they knew there was no way that this dog could possibly last ten seconds with the Palestinian dog.
When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of its cage and slowly waddled over towards the Palestinian dog. The Palestinian dog snarled and leaped out of its cage and charged the dachshund. But, when it got close enough to bite the Dachshund's neck, the Dachshund opened its mouth and consumed the other dog in one bite. There was nothing at all left of the Palestinian dog.
The Palestinians came up to the Israelis shaking their heads in disbelief. "We don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for five years with the meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the world and the biggest meanest Siberian wolves."
"That's nothing", an Israeli replied. "We had our best plastic surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund."