111.       Subscription
The local paper, which I don't bother to subscribe to since I don't have a bird, calls every couple of weeks to try and get me to subscribe. With caller ID this becomes a perfect opportunity. Here are some of the highlights.

Phone rings. I glance at the monitor and pick up the phone.

"OK I'll take a subscription, but I only want it on weekends"

"What?"

"You want to sell me a subscription. I'll take it, but only for Saturday and Sunday"

"We only offer it Thursday through Sunday."

"Oh then never mind." I hang up.

Phone rings. I glance at the monitor and pick up the phone.

"I don't want a subscription"

(silence)

"What?"

"You are calling to offer me a subscription. I don't want one."

(silence)

"uh... OK"

I hang up.

Phone rings. I glance at the monitor and pick up the phone.

"Hi! Is this Billy-Bob's Gun and Ammo Shop?"

(silence)

"I wanna buy a gun. You got any?"

(silence)

I hang up.

Phone rings. I glance at the monitor and pick up the phone.

"Good afternoon, Gainesville Sun circulation department. How may I help you?"

(silence)

"Umm... Sorry. Wrong number."

I hang up.



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